Do you remember what the internet used to look like? I know I do.
It’s easy to forget this, but when the Internet was still new, a typical website looked like an average Microsoft Word document.
But what does this have to do with two-wheelers, you might ask?
Because a while ago, I stumbled across an old moped blog that hasn’t been updated since April 24th, 2000.
And exactly 23 years later, this site is still accessible – although that might change.
So, just out of curiosity, join me as we dive deeper into a part of history most people have forgotten about.
What is This Site?
The site question is titled “Moped Angels”, and the first thing you’re greeted by is a prompt asking you to enter your name.
I entered my not-so-subtle alias of “Seymour Butts” while I pondered if this violates GDPR legislation.
My juvenile sense of humor aside, regardless, I was there, and this is what the site looked like:
Let’s not beat around the bush – this site is as much of a fossil as a dinosaur.
It’s hosted through freeservers.com – a free web hosting company. And as the final touch, the site uses Comic Sans as its font – the font used by people who don’t want to be taken seriously.
And as we shall soon see, not wanting to be taken seriously is the overall theme of this blog.
Anyway, this jet-black background with white text makes it look like that dodgy porn site I accidentally arrived at when I misspelled “alltheweb.com” (a pre-Google search engine) back in 2002.
Or maybe that Flash animation site stickdeath.com that had shorts where stick figures killed each other (with plenty of animated blood to go around).
But I’m not going to pick on the design too much – coming from someone who remembers the Internet in its infancy, I can tell you that websites looked very different back in 2000 than they do now.
Even in 2006, I remember having a Myspace page that looked about as good as this site, so bottom line – you can’t complain too much about the web design.
So, With That Obviously Dead Horse Beaten, Who’s Behind This Site?
This site is made by “a moped boy from Lidköping who likes mopeds but not cops.”
There’s no name, and “moped boy from Lidköping who likes mopeds but not cops” is the closest thing to an alias we’ll get here.
And keep the “likes mopeds but not cops” part in mind because the anti-cop sentiment is a reoccurring theme for this site – although it’s never justified or even elaborated upon.
It’s all “I don’t like cops because I don’t like cops.” I smell poser. More on that late.
The first sentence on the home page boldly claims that
“here on this wonderful moped site [sic], we’re not talking rotten EU-mopeds or something like that – here, it’s nothing but proper mopeds”
Of course, what constitutes a “proper moped” I don’t know because he never specifies that.
Is it a vintage 1970s Puch?
Is it a more contemporary Honda MT5 dual sport (at least it was contemporary around this time)?
Again, never specified anywhere on this site.
It’s also really dumb that on the page “me and my moped,” he’s outright admitted that he’s illegally modified his moped.
Sure, he hasn’t given out his real name, address, or license plate, but it’s still dumb.
Speaking of his moped – it’s a 1983 Suzuki K50.
Specifically, it’s a 1983 Suzuki K50 that, in the creator’s own words, it uses an ignition coil from a “Wolkswagen[sic].”
I hope he’s better at wrenching on mopeds than he is at spelling.
Remember how our “moped boy from Linköping” didn’t like cops – and loves showboating it?
Case in point – there’s one page on his site called “copstories[sic],” where people send in stories about how they got chased by the cops.
All 2 of them – one of which is a whole 145 words, with no comma signs or full stops in between:
Even if you can’t understand Swedish – take it from me, it’s one of the most muddled and longest sentences I’ve ever read.
Do you know the proofreading software Grammarly? If you do, you probably know that it throws a fit whenever you write a sentence over 15 words, right? This sentence would kill Grammarly.
There’s also an email address that you can send in your stories. Just don’t expect them to be featured – given the abandoned site and all.
And as if cop stories weren’t bizarre enough, there’s also another page titled “The Cops,” which contains “advice” (a term I use very loosely) about what to do if the police start chasing you while you’re riding a moped.
Of course, these tips are just abysmal. Some highlights include:
- Stealing a license plate from a parked motorcycle (good idea – until, of course, they ask to see your license and you don’t have one for a motorcycle)
- Dumping the moped in the nearest lake
- Bribe the police (so on top of being charged with reckless riding, you can also add attempted bribery to your wrap sheet)
And now, in its unadulterated “glory” – arguably the dumbest advice of them all…
“If there are many of you, you could try fighting the cops!!!”
That would cause someone to get shot in 2023. Or end up on Scared Straight.
That is if your moped doesn’t blow up first because this guy also gives “tuning advice.”
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t trust someone who uses Comic Sans, can barely spell, and tells people to assault police officers.
Bad Tuning “Advice”
And with no images, no description (or even mentioning) of tools that you’ll need, and descriptions that are shallow at best, this advice is terrible and downright dangerous.
Some of the “improvements” include fitting a “ginormous muffler.”
But unlike the rest of the “advice,” this one doesn’t show how to fit this “ginormous muffler” – fitting an aftermarket exhaust isn’t an easy job.
Not that this guy cares – I bet if he taught people how to upjet a carburetor, he’d just tell them to “drill a hole through” it.
Which is funny because he gives that exact tuning advice for the carburetor.
Of course, it doesn’t tell you how big the drill needs to be or even where the hole is supposed to be.
This “moped boy from Lidköping who likes mopeds but not cops” is the absolute nadir of kitchen mechanics.
Want to Buy A Used Moped? A Place to NOT Look
But probably the best part of this blog is the classifieds section. Again, I would not certainly trust these people if I was in the market for a used moped.
There’s 1 whole ad – no images of the moped in question, and a vague description
“I have a moped with pedals with Victoriaengine. Restoration object in fair condition 200 Kronor, Melbystrand Kind regards Gunnar”
Of course, it’s very unclear whether or not this Gunnar has this moped or not. I also wonder what a “restoration object in fair condition means” – is it roadworthy? Is it running, or is it rustier than the Titanic?
There’s also a listing for someone who was looking for an “original cylinder for a zundapp ks 50 1982.” Maybe they’re still looking – I guess we’ll never know.
A Gallery Full of Potential Copyright Violations
The last noteworthy thing of Moped Angels is a gallery of moped pictures, which I suspect are probably swiped from Google Images and uploaded without permission.
The gallery has nothing remarkable except this one of a Honda MT50 (shown on the bottom).
And if it looks familiar, it’s because this image is stolen straight from the cover of the Haynes manual for the Honda MT50.
It’s not an affiliate link either (was that even a concept in 2000?) – he just cut out the front cover and slapped it onto his site.
I doubt Haynes would sue this site, though – given that it’s hosted on a free web server, there’s nothing to gain here – especially not from an intellectual level.
And it’s absurd that a Haynes manual is referenced at a site run by an absolute kitchen mechanic who probably doesn’t even know what he’s doing (who uses a Volkswagen ignition coil for a Suzuki K-50, anyway?).
Didn’t he think for one second that maybe he should have read this manual instead of plagiarizing the front cover?
In The End
And that brings us to the end of our journey into the world of Moped Angels.
At the end of the day, I can’t take this site seriously – this was probably done by some stupid kid who didn’t know what they were doing and was trying way too hard to be “edgy.”
Either way, it was fascinating that a site this old is still up and running and looks the same today as it did 23 years ago when the year “2000” sounded so futuristic and exciting.
I wouldn’t call it a nostalgic experience, but I would call it an experience.
Have you seen any blogs or websites just like this one? Let me hear about them in the comments.